Dating a Convert

[Singer_Kait]

I myself am a convert of almost 3 1/2 years.  I have what many would ca;; a "colorful" background.  I did a lot of things growing up that I really shouldn't have and that I'm not proud of. I also went through a spell of inactivity where I did things that I shouldn't have.  I'm afraid that born and bred Mormon boys will be turned off by my past and my non-member family, thinking that I'm not good marriage material or that my family isn't a good one to marry in to.  What are your opinions?

[SPark]

From what I've seen alot of "Mormon boys" wouldn't think like that at all, they wouldn't judge you by your past or your family. I don't think you should have any problems with that, besides alot of converts I know have a stronger testimony than alot of people born and raised in the church.

[kipluck]

I know I am a girl, so maybe it's different, but I have no problem dating a convert.  First of all, to be honest, I tend to find it VERY COOL that someone has made that choice later in life and to hear how they did so.  So it's almost a plus.  But besides that, whether someone is a convert or used to be inactive or whatever, what MATTERS is who they have become NOW.  What have those experiences, bad and good, shaped them to be, and do I like THAT person?  Because I am not dating who they were 5 years ago, I am dating who they are now, and who they plan to be. You know?

[thomasx]

ironically this topic just came up in Institute last week...people were commenting about the odd fact that many Jewish families don't believe in  dating/marrying converts to the faith, as they want to "keep the bloodline pure"

I found it hilarious they were so negative about it, b/c BIC mormons really aren't that much different. But being the only ACTUAL ces-age person in my Institute class (i dont know if that's sad or funny) i didn't really get much input

[JoiceJoker]

I´m a convert.
I can't say that, by being such, men aren't interested.

[dadood]

I don't think who you are or what you are or where you've been matters that much to a guy as the question, "Is she hot?"

I don't know if it's just the nature of the beast or what, but guys throw out all logic and reason and prejudice when it comes to an attractive woman.

[Alyssa_Rene]

I know that my brother just married a convert and all their relationship is arguments. She has been a convert for two years now and she was very hesitant to even get married in the temple. She is worthy, but after her endowment session she said she was really freaked out and wasn't even sure if she wanted to get married anymore. They aren't a good couple in my opinion, but you never know how it would turn out with someone else. This is just my experience with converts.

[dadood]

Alyssa, I don't think that has anything to do with the fact that she's a convert. People fight and argue regardless if they were born in the church or recently joined.

[JoiceJoker]

Alyssa,
I remember when I received my endowment. It spooked the heck out of me. That experience had to settle for a while because it was so outer worldly and strange to me.

I've never been married in the temple, but I could imagine that the weight of the covenants people are about to make either strengthens or breaks them.

[drummerchick66]

I believe it doesn't matter what you did in the past because we all make mistakes. I know many members who did things that were very wrong in the past but that shouldn't matter. What matter is here and now. You have repented and come unto the Lord. You are in his Church. I view any convert as any member who was born into the Church. I know I would date a convert.

[mommom31]

I married a convert who later confessed he was spooked by the wedding, sounds like. He left the church and me.

I also have a sibling who left the church.

Quite honestly, I don't think I will get married again, although I miss being married and having a close friend to share important decisions with. (Or to have someone make decisions for me?) It's tough being alone, although I have my children 52% of the time, which I could also go into a nine yards on, since they are at school during much of that time, so I doubt it's even technically 52%.

I will try not to sound so depressed, though. Carry on!

[Andwanjay]

I think it has to do with the individual. I'm a convert to the church for 11 years now and I have served in different callings and I have even served a full-time Mission In the Nigeria Enugu Mission. I am endowed too and looking for my eternal partner. I think there's no harm involved in dating a convert or even marrying one. All one has to do is to becareful and be sure of yourself and the individual you are dating and I know all will be fine. Now dating someone does not mean things will work out automatically. We are to expect hiccups while dating. For that is what helps us understand each other better and to know if it will work.

[JoiceJoker]

Hiccups while dating? You must be doing something wrong!
The hard stuff begins when normality sets in and you're facing
stressful situations. That's when you'll know what your relationship is made of.

[naulite]

There is really only one thing I can offer when it comes to dating and marriage, to a convert or otherwise...

Choose Wisely!

You'll regret it if you don't.

[JoiceJoker]

You'll regret it the moment you realize you haven't been listening to your heart.
Not because you date or marry someone of whatever relation to the church.

Divorces happen in or out of church. And relationships between members and others can work if there is communication, respect and trust.

[fire_rescue79]

As a convert, I hope there are those who don't have a problem dating or marrying converts. My only serious criteria for finding a mate is that she be a member of the Church, have a strong testimony of the restored gospel, the book of mormon, the prophet Joseph Smith and be willing, ready, and worthy to marry for time and eternity in the Lord's Holy Temple.

[Salsa]

Dating a convert shouldn't be an issue...as fire_rescue79 stated the issue is finding a mate who is a member...Convert or not ...one should look at the depth of the conversion and level of spirituality and where they are going with that conversion...sometimes I look at "a convert" in the dating community as a branding to cop out for some...goodluck

[wolflover]

I'm a convert too and sometimes I don't even feel like I am one.Like previous people have said I think it's all about whether or not a person is truly converted to the gospel of Christ.It's sad but sometimes true, there are some members who are spiritually less converted to the gospel than people who haven't had it in their life their whole lives.I would personally be offended if someone wouldn't date me purely based on the fact that I was a convert.To me that says a lot about their character.What would make them better than me?Christ loves everyone and rejoices whenever someone new comes tom Him.

[Misty_lake]

I've dated a couple converts, and I was inspired by both of their stories. The only time I was a little worried when one recounted their past of drug use and I realized that was probably why they had a short attention span.

I still count one of them as a good friend. All in all, we're all people, we all have stories, regrets, and celebrations. I hope that we date based more off of the love they have for their fellow man and compatibility, rather than some faulty view of a perfect saint.

[alwaysremember]

I married a convert. Matthew 13:5-6 describes her. Be more like verse 8, and let your light shine. Then, it will not matter whether you joined one year ago or twenty.